When should I send wedding invitations and save-the-dates?Give them time to plan. Give yourself time to chase.

When should we send save-the-dates?

Once the date and venue are definitely booked, you can start telling people. Around 6–12 months ahead is the guidance in Hitched’s UK invitation guide. But I’d think about your actual guests before worrying about the exact month.

Does your sister need to book flights? Does your best friend work shifts? Are you getting married on a Friday when people will need time off? Give them a chance to sort that. A bank holiday wedding might be lovely for you, but the hotels could be getting booked while you’re still choosing the card.

You don’t need every detail ready. Your names, the date, the location and “invitation to follow” will do. The thing I would settle first is who you’re inviting. A save-the-date isn’t something I’d send to someone I was still unsure about. They may start spending money to be there.

And when do the actual invitations go out?

Around three months before a UK wedding is a sensible starting point. Hitched suggests about 12 weeks where travel or accommodation needs arranging. If your venue wants numbers earlier, or you haven’t sent save-the-dates, move that forward.

Getting married abroad? The same guide suggests at least 4–6 months for invitations involving international travel. I’d share confirmed travel details as soon as you can. Coming to your wedding might mean flights, a hotel and annual leave for someone. They need time to work out whether they can do it, not just whether they want to.

And if you’ve only got a few months to plan, don’t panic. You haven’t failed at weddings because you missed the save-the-date window. Once the details are confirmed, send the invitation. There’s no need to send two cards a fortnight apart just to tick a box.

How long do we give people to RSVP?

This is the bit I’d sort before ordering anything. Ask your venue and caterer: “When do you need our final numbers, meal choices and dietary requirements?” Bridebook’s stationery advice makes the same point about checking the caterer’s deadline first.

Then give yourself a bit of breathing room. If the venue needs everything four weeks before, I’d aim for replies six weeks before, as long as you’ve sent the invitations with enough notice. That extra fortnight is my suggested buffer, not a rule every venue uses.

You might need to chase a reply, check whether someone’s bringing their partner or find out which meal they wanted. Those are much easier conversations when you’re not also trying to send the seating plan over that afternoon.

Put a clear date and a simple way to reply on the invitation. A wedding website is fine, but give anyone who struggles with it a text or phone option. You want their answer. You don’t need your grandma wrestling with a password to give you one.

How do we make evening invites and plus-ones clear?

This can feel awkward, but being clear now is kinder than correcting someone later. If they’re coming to the evening, say “evening reception” and tell them when to arrive. If you’re giving them early notice, make that clear then too.

Something like: “We’d love you to join us for our evening reception from 7pm. Please reply by 1 May and let us know about any dietary requirements.” It doesn’t need to sound grand. It just needs to tell them what’s happening.

Give evening guests time to make plans as well. They may still need a hotel or childcare, and you’ll need their replies before the venue’s evening-food deadline.

For plus-ones and children, name who’s invited. If you’re inviting a partner, say so. If you’re not inviting children, explain that gently rather than hoping people work it out from the envelope. You can be warm about it without leaving it open to interpretation.

Do we really need paper invitations?

If you’ve found stationery you love and it fits your budget, go for it. If you’d rather send a digital invitation, that’s fine too. You don’t need to spend more just because you feel it’s what you’re supposed to do.

Whichever you choose, make the useful bits easy to find: date, venue address, arrival time, how to reply and the deadline. Include transport, accommodation and accessibility details where your guests need them.

One thing I would check with your venue is the arrival time. “Please arrive by 1.30pm for a 2pm ceremony” is much clearer than just “2pm”. You don’t want someone pulling into the car park as you’re about to walk down the aisle.

And before you order 100 invitations for 100 guests, count households. A couple usually needs one invitation, not two. Add envelopes and postage to the cost as well. Our free wedding budget calculator has room for those costs, so you can see the total before you order.

My advice? Don’t keep the guest list in your head.

I’d keep one list that you can both update. Nothing fancy. Who’s invited, who’s replied, who’s coming, what they’re eating and any dietary requirements.

If someone replies on WhatsApp, add it to the list. If your mam says “Oh yes, they’re definitely coming”, check with them and add it. Otherwise you can end up scrolling through messages, trying to remember who told you what.

If a reply is late, start with a friendly nudge: “Hi, we’re sending the numbers to the venue on Friday. Can you let us know by Wednesday whether you can make it? We’d love to see you.” They might have forgotten, or they might still be trying to sort childcare. You can ask for an answer without making it a falling-out.

My approach to wedding timings is to leave room for people, not just the plan on paper. It’s the same here. Give guests enough notice, make the invitation clear and leave yourself time to sort the replies. Then you can get excited about having everyone there, rather than spending the last few weeks chasing them.

If you’re still working out who to invite, start with our guest-list guide. For the timings, check our questions to ask your venue and wedding-day timeline before you put anything in print.